This book is a raw and unflinchingly honest memoir of one man’s midlife reckoning and journey toward self-discovery, healing, and authenticity. A childhood shaped by trauma, gave way to adult success—marriage, fatherhood, entrepreneurial achievement—the author finds himself at sixty grappling with the unshakable feeling that he has lived a life shaped more by fear and survival instincts than by inner truth. Triggered by divorce, professional loss, and a deep inner emptiness, his search for peace leads him to psychedelics and spiritual awakening, as he begins to shed decades of mental noise, childhood trauma, and inherited pain, including the lingering shadows of his Holocaust-survivor parents. Through this deeply personal account, he explores themes such as emotional repression, masculinity, spirituality, ADHD, chronic illness, and the generational impact of trauma. In peeling back the layers of his constructed identity, he offers a compassionate invitation for others—particularly those in the second half of life—to question who they really are beneath the surface and to reclaim the joy and stillness of an authentic, present life.

About the author:

Howard Steinberg is a New York City-based entrepreneur, writer, mentor, and advocate. The son of Holocaust survivors, Steinberg was the solo founder of three companies before dedicating himself to exploring personal and spiritual growth. He has been a passionate voice for improved diabetes care and supply access. He finds joy in walking his dog Tico through Greenwich Village, kayaking off the Connecticut shoreline, and cherishes time with his three daughters and two beautiful granddaughters. Steinberg is a graduate of both the undergraduate and graduate business schools at New York University.